Phineas and Levi

I looked at the old man in amazement. Phineas, with his weather beaten face had seen much in his lifetime and often had difficulty recalling facts, but when I asked him about Jesus, his mind became clear and the stories poured out of him.

"I was there you know!" he said to me with vigor. "I remember it as though it was yesterday. It was a hot day in the desert. He had gone into the wilderness after John was executed because Jesus wanted to pray. John was his cousin, which few people knew, and Jesus loved him dearly. I came because I wanted to see this one who people were saying was the Messiah. I was convinced that Jesus was just another country preacher trying to make a name for himself."

He paused for a moment to gather his strength. I watched as he struggled to breathe as though he was overcome with an excitement too great for his feeble body. It seemed as if his spirit remembered the days of strength and vigor which his body no longer had.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He raised his eyes to mine, and they sparkled with life anew yet stared through me as if he were in a different place.

"Hmmm? Yes, yes, I am fine. He wasn't much to look at you know," he replied.

"Who?"

"Jesus! He wasn't much to look at when you first saw him. There was nothing about him that stood out." He paused and struggled to breathe. "Where was I?"

"You were telling me about that day when Jesus fed so many."

"Oh, yes, I remember now. The little boy was standing there as the disciples talked to Jesus. They wanted to send us away because it was supper time and they had nothing to feed us with. The little boy looked at me with a big smile and proclaimed, 'I have some food!'"

"What little boy?"

"The boy with the lunch!" he exclaimed. "Bright little fellow too. His name was Levi and he had wandered up as they were discussing what to do. I looked at him and smiled."

"Why did he tell you about his food? What could that possibly accomplish?"

"I thought the same thing. But I was shocked as he strolled up to one of the disciples, Andrew, I think, and tugged on his tunic. I tried to stop him, but I was too late. I wondered what their reaction would be to a small child intervening in their discussion."

I leaned in with anticipation to hear what would happen. I often wondered what happened in the inner circle of Jesus and his disciples. He could see my anticipation and smiled at me.

"Andrew knelt down to hear what the boy said because it was difficult to hear with all the debating going on. Andrew raised his head and looked the little boy in the eyes and smiled. He stood up straight away and grasping the little boys hand led him to Jesus."

"What? You mean he didn't rebuke the boy for interrupting?" I sat in amazement.

"No, Jesus welcomed him with a smile. I couldn't hear what he said to him, but I watched as Andrew and the other disciples began to ask people to sit and ordered them into various groups."

"What happened next?" I asked.

"I was in the group closest to Jesus, but I could not hear what he said. He took the boys lunch and lifted it up to the heavens and appeared to pray. Then he began to distribute it to the disciples. I watched closely as Jesus continued to reach into the boy's pouch and fill basket after basket with food. We all ate until our bellies were full."

"What?? You are lying!" I exclaimed.

"I am too old to lie," he chuckled, "besides I was a skeptic. I only came to see Jesus and walk away convinced he was just another country preacher who wanted to make a name for himself. Yet when I witnessed this ... this ... miracle, I became a believer. Only one who is from God could do such things."

"What happened to the boy?"

"Well, I watched as the disciples filled baskets with the leftovers and gave them to the boy. There was so much that he could not carry it. So, I offered to lend him a hand. On the way to his house, he looked at me with tears in his eyes, and I asked him what was wrong. He said to me, 'My family has so little. We are very poor and this will be enough to feed us for a week!' Jesus not only provided for those there, he provided for the one who gave all that he could."

He closed his eyes and seemed to drift away. I nudged his elbow and asked once again, "Are you okay?"

"Hmmm? Yes, I am fine. He wasn't much to look at you know."

hmmmm......

It seems I do some of my best thinking in the shower. While I was in the shower today, I was reflecting on my "career" path. If you were to ask me last year at this time if would I be working with children AND enjoying it, I would most likely have said no. It seems to me however that as I have followed God on this strange and winding journey, I have found my needs to be met. He has provided for my schooling, books, gas for travel, and even a few wants. He has provided me with a clearer picture of how He wants me to serve. Last year I would have said that I have no ability to work with kids, today I believe that is where He is calling and leading me to serve Him.

The insight I received this morning is rather simple yet for some reason unseen by me and probably many others. If we just follow Him and stay on His path then our needs will be met. He has walked the path before us and left for us all the things necessary for our journey. If we stray from His path, who knows what awaits us there? Can we be certain that we will find the things necessary for life? It is uncertain. Yet following Christ, we can be sure of His guidance and provision. Does that mean that life will be simple, easy, and uncluttered? Absolutely not! But have you ever noticed that when things get difficult when we follow Him, there seems to be that someone on our path that gives us what we need. It may be a kind word, or a hug, or something more substantial like money, clothing, or shelter. Is it a coincidence? I do not believe it to be so.

What about those who experience this yet are not followers of Christ? Could it be Him seeking to draw them to Himself? His love for those not following Him is not less than those He has adopted into His family, is it?

I believe the tragic events of my life over the last few years have been planned and orchestrated by God to bring me where He wanted me to be. I still have needs: financial, emotional, spiritual, physical, and emotional. Most people would look at my situation and call me a loser or worse. I say I am right where God wants me and that makes me better off than anyone who has no needs, because I am trusting in His provision for my needs whatever they may be. I know He has walked before me and prepared the way. If I continue to follow Him, then whatever I need has already been met by Him in His wisdom and love.

Communing With God

In reading The Shadow of the Galilean by Gerd Theissen, I came across a description of the Temple in Jerusalem during the time of Jesus. Although I knew these facts, they had never struck me this way before.

The outer court is called the court of the Gentiles. All may enter there. We have many relationships in life and the vast majority of them reside here in the court of the Gentiles. People we see at work, school, in the community, at the gas station, or a restaurant. People whose faces we know, yet may not know their names or much else other than their appearance.

Next is the inner Temple precinct, as Theissen calls it. Only Jews may enter there. In our life, we have friends we know from our every day activities. We know their names, a little about their background, and share a common purpose. I think of this like my church. I know something about the people there. I share a common purpose and background with them. I was once lost, but now I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Most at church have had a similar experience. Just like the court of the Jews at the Temple where they were bound by their allegiance to the one true God.

Then we have the Temple proper where only the priests may enter. These are my close friends. The ones I confide in and turn to in times of need. The ones I have done spiritual warfare with and struggled through difficulties with. I know what they are made of and know that, just as I have their back, they have mine. Only these people get to see my "bad" side. The side that most people never know of or see. They hear my struggles with sin and the thoughts and desires of my heart.

Finally, there is the Holy of Holies. Only the High Priest may enter there. I am my high priest. I alone enter and stand before God daily to give an account of my life. No one can enter in with me. None can stand there to accuse me. None can stand there to defend me. I am open and naked before God. Only here do I open myself up completely, because to do otherwise would be to lie to myself. Here is where I come to make my confession daily that I am a sinner in need of a savior. Daily do I claim the name of Christ as the one who has redeemed from the pit of Hell and penalty of sin. Daily I stand and praise God for what He has done in my life. Only He has been the one with me when times were the darkest. Only He has been the one to give me comfort in my hour of deepest need. Only He has lifted me up beyond where words can express. Only He can give me what I need. Hope.

Where are you in your communing with God? Are you standing in the court of the Gentiles? Aloof from God and unable to come into His presence? Are you standing in the court of the Jews? You are religious, yet there is still a separation between you and God that you cannot seem to repair. Are you a priest who serves in the Temple proper? You go to church, tithe, sing in the choir, lead on committees, and serve the community, yet you haven't made the commitment necessary to come into His presence. Do you stand in the Holy of Holies? You give thanks and praise to God daily for your salvation. You intercede on behalf of your friends and family on the outside who cannot come in to the sanctuary with you. Alone you stand before God with no one at your side.

This is a somber picture of the responsibility we have before God. Each of us will give an account to God on judgement day. There will be no one beside you to comfort or support you. Indeed no one can, for God will look you in the eye one on one and ask, "What did you do with my Son whom I sent on your behalf?" On that day no excuse can assuage nor blame laid at the feet of others. You alone will stand and you alone will give an account of your life. Where will He find you?