Say What?

Communication is the key to any relationship. Yet the longer I live, and the more I watch and learn about people in this life, the more I understand how hard it is to truly communicate with someone. Even when it is a good close friend who thinks like you, communication can be difficult. There are language barriers even among people who speak a common language. Words take on different connotations of meaning to people. I may say something that is plain and clear, yet to you those words have a slightly different meaning.

As I seek to teach in Sunday school or in my tutoring at the Y, the greatest difficulty I have is framing my thoughts in words so that the hearer understands and comprehends exactly what I mean, EVEN if they might phrase it differently. This is a great challenge. It requires, to some degree, an understanding of your audience. How do they think? How do they speak? What words communicate most clearly what I mean? It requires you to get to know the people who listen. It requires time to collect and specify clearly to yourself what you want to convey to the audience.

Each of us have our own idiom, or way of speaking. It is learning the language of another person so as to be able to communicate with precision that is truly difficult. Many misunderstandings happen because of semantics, which is a lack of understanding another person's meaning. They may mean the same thing, but say it a different way. This is, of course, assuming that both people truly want to communicate with each other (that's a different blog for a different day). For example, I worked at a machine shop when I was much younger and a guy was trimming a part. The gauge read 0.100. I said he was taking off a tenth of an inch, but he said he was taking off 100/1000ths. I just stared at him blankly. He had no concept that both measurements were the same thing. We were saying the same thing, but there was a lack of communication. I knew the math equivalent, while he understood it in machine shop speak. There are many factors that contribute to the growth of the language that we use. Our family background and education are the two main factors. Whether we come from a poor, rich, middle class, black, white, Latin, Asian, or other type of family, the family is the main source of learning to speak and communicate with those around us. The linguistic skills of our parents and their vocabulary range help or hinder the growth of language. Education is the other key factor that helps develop language skills. When a child begins school, they are exposed to new words and new ways of speaking. This can add to the child's vocabulary and ability to communicate with others. It also exposes them, for the first time, to different cultures. Each family unit is a culture unto itself. We may live next door to friends and family, but live life very differently.

So the next time you are uncertain of someone's meaning, do not be afraid to ask what they mean. In doing so, you can gain a clear understanding of what they mean, and also gain a glimpse into what makes them ... them.

A Merry Heart

Sometimes I think I am not serious minded enough. At 42 years of age, shouldn't I be very serious all the time? Shouldn't I be concerned with the cares of life? I don't know the answer to that question, however I do know who I am. I LOVE to have fun. I have a sharp witted tongue that is quick and can be very funny, even risque at times. I love it when people can dish it out as well as take jabs and barbs. I never try to be too personal or pick at someone with contempt, yet I have on occasion offended others. I usually make as many or more jokes about myself.

At 6'4" and around 400 lbs for my adult life, I am hard to miss. I could never be a criminal. I could see myself on a security camera and everyone who knows me would be pointing and saying, "Isn't that Darrin?" I look rather redneckish since I usually wear a beard so I love to play the dumb redneck, and do so quite well (insert witty comment here). I know ALL the good fat jokes, as well as the bad ones. I do a good imitation of Hank Hill, and have been known to take on other persona's. Once, while attending Fruitland, some friends and I went to Wal-Mart. My buddy Steven, whose middle name is Lawrence was "Louie." My first name is Melvin, so I was "Vinnie." Throughout the entire trip through the store we played out a skit similar to "Of Mice and Men" (guess who was the big dumb one?). As we walked out I exclaimed loudly, "I wanna ride the horsey!" Pleading with "Louie" to let me ride the children's horse ride at the front of the store. I tend to get along well with teenagers since I act just like them. Truly, very little in this life is ALWAYS serious to me.

Levity is what has kept me from going crazy at various times of my life. Through difficult times I have been able to appreciate the humor in each situation even if I was crying through the laughter. I am grateful to God for giving me this childlike heart that is ready, willing, and able to forgive and to laugh, laugh, laugh.


Proverbs 15:13, 17:22

Dark Days

This Saturday will mark a year since my blood clot first made itself known. Thinking on this I realized that the markers in my life always refer back to dark days, hard times, or difficult situations. The times in my life that were memorable or marked a change of season in my life have always been times of trouble, pain, or loss. This is not by choice, but just a matter of fact of my life. This is not a lament on my part but a recognition of that fact.

I have long since given up any hope or desire to have any say or control of my life. It is not that I do not wish to be able to plan my life, but a few years back God hit the reset button and since then any attempt to "control" my situation has resulted in futility. So, I submit myself to God and to whatever He brings into my life, good or bad.

My health and mobility have suffered greatly over the last few years due to stress and health related issues. The blood clot alone immobilized me almost entirely for a couple of months and I was severely restricted in the ability to walk for at least four months. Along with that I now have a knee that loves to feel like it may pop out of joint at any moment.

Yesterday, however, I "played" basketball for the first time in years. The goal at the Y was low enough for me to dunk flat footed and some of the middle school kids wanted to play me. I enlisted the help of one of the counselors at the Y as a team mate because she is great at basketball. We raised the goal back to its regular height and started. It wasn't pretty or very effective, but I did move with more haste than a walk! In the end we plastered the kids pretty well.

I bring this up because God has everything covered! I needed my health to improve, yet have no way of "exercising" here at the house nor of affording a gym membership. Yet I loved to play basketball as a kid and with my job at the Y I get to play a little everyday. This has made an improvement in my overall strength and ability to move and I expect it to continue to get better.

Those whom God has given the ability to choose what they want in life may not understand this, but that is ok. This is my Journey and God has seen fit to guide me down this path. For now, I am thankful that I can still play basketball and hope that one day soon my life may be marked by times of change that result in better days and good times.

For His Glory,

DH

A Loving Father

As I sat at church last night waiting to speak to a friend, I noticed a young child with it's father waiting as well. The child was curious about everything and never stopped moving. I watched as the father patiently followed behind to remove their hands from anything that the child should not be into. I put down the book I was reading and just watched and thought how often God does that to us.

God follows us as we wander through this life and guides away from things that would harm us. He removes our hands from things that we do not need to handle. He patiently guides into things that are safe and meaningful in this life.

Yet we often reject this guidance and go our own way. Isaiah says, "All we like sheep have gone astray. We have turned every one to his own way." In our rebellion, God often lets us reap the fruit of our disobedience. I find it sad that we often respond with questions like: why did this happen? what did I do wrong? why didn't God stop it? We all too often want to lay the blame at God's feet for our misconduct and lay on Him the guilt that should be ours when we walk away from the loving guidance and protection of a perfect Father.

When you bemoan not having something you want, ask yourself if it is the protection of God keeping something that would be your ruin from you. And let us run with patience the race that is set before us looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.