Is This REALLY God's Will?? Part 1

I have been reading a book entitled Unfinished by Richard Stearns for a men's group I have recently joined. In the second chapter Stearns discusses and illustrates the Bible or God's plan from the perspective of God being an author and writing our story. Stearns says that an author doesn't create a character without purpose; that each character was created to play a key role. My mind went immediately to the many people who had been sick, lame, or blind for years in the gospels. We see them merely as characters in the Bible, but reality for those people was one of pain and suffering. They struggled to make ends meet, to survive, and to just exist. They subsisted on the handouts of others and trusted in the care of those that loved them. I wonder if they ever questioned whether they were in God's will. I wonder if they ever wished God had a better plan for their daily life.

In John 5 we read of a man who had been lame for 38 years. In Matthew, Mark, and Luke we read the story of a woman who had been hemorrhaging for 12 years, and thus ceremonially unclean to the Jewish faith. In John 9 we read a story of a man born blind and it is this story which I wish to dig into deeper.

As Jesus walked along, he saw a man who had been born blind. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, why was this man born blind? Did he or his parents sin?" Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned. Instead, he was born blind so that God could show what he can do for him. (John 9:1-3)

After Jesus heals the man, he is taken to the Pharisees and questioned about who did this for him. Later his parents were brought in and they told the Pharisees to ask him since he was of age. Now John Gill's commentary says that a man can speak for himself:

... at the age of thirteen years, if he could produce the signs of puberty: and such an one was allowed a witness in any case, but not under this age; nor if he was arrived to it, if the above signs could not be produced. This man very likely was much older, as may be thought from the whole of his conduct, his pertinent answers, and just reasoning: wherefore his parents direct the Sanhedrin to him for an answer to their third question.

So this man was probably much older than 13 years of age due to his ability to answer the Pharisees. There is no clue to his actual age, but the point is that this man had been blind since birth because it was God's will.

This brings me to my own situation, and the reasoning behind the title to this post. I find my living conditions to be the same as they have been for the last 5 1/2 years, and I am faced with the question, Is this really God's will for me? Am I one of those who will be dependent upon others for my subsistence? Am I one of those who never seem to be able to get off the ground floor of life? As I look back at the history of my life and the financial/employment opportunities that have slipped past me, I must seriously consider this question. As a man, it is frustrating and embarrassing to be in this situation for so long. I can almost hear the speculating whispers that people must be saying.

The issue isn't however, what society thinks of me, but what is God's plan for me. I have been in places in my life where I fought to keep what I had, and regardless of what I did, it was going to be taken away. I felt like a failure. I felt like a loser. I searched for what I could have done better or different, and the bottom line is that nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. This is what I have come to believe. It seems now, that I am in that spot again. No matter what I try to do, I will remain here in this spot until God is ready to move me. So, how do I get through this time without making things worse by wandering outside of God's will by trying to force an opening that isn't there? How can I deal with the frustration that stalks me every day of my life waiting to pounce on me and drag me down when something frustrates me?

More than anything else in my life, I desire to be in God's will. I only want to be where He wants me. My frustration comes from not believing that my circumstances could be God's will. But if God really is the author of my life, and this is where He wants me, then I can be content.