Say What?

Communication is the key to any relationship. Yet the longer I live, and the more I watch and learn about people in this life, the more I understand how hard it is to truly communicate with someone. Even when it is a good close friend who thinks like you, communication can be difficult. There are language barriers even among people who speak a common language. Words take on different connotations of meaning to people. I may say something that is plain and clear, yet to you those words have a slightly different meaning.

As I seek to teach in Sunday school or in my tutoring at the Y, the greatest difficulty I have is framing my thoughts in words so that the hearer understands and comprehends exactly what I mean, EVEN if they might phrase it differently. This is a great challenge. It requires, to some degree, an understanding of your audience. How do they think? How do they speak? What words communicate most clearly what I mean? It requires you to get to know the people who listen. It requires time to collect and specify clearly to yourself what you want to convey to the audience.

Each of us have our own idiom, or way of speaking. It is learning the language of another person so as to be able to communicate with precision that is truly difficult. Many misunderstandings happen because of semantics, which is a lack of understanding another person's meaning. They may mean the same thing, but say it a different way. This is, of course, assuming that both people truly want to communicate with each other (that's a different blog for a different day). For example, I worked at a machine shop when I was much younger and a guy was trimming a part. The gauge read 0.100. I said he was taking off a tenth of an inch, but he said he was taking off 100/1000ths. I just stared at him blankly. He had no concept that both measurements were the same thing. We were saying the same thing, but there was a lack of communication. I knew the math equivalent, while he understood it in machine shop speak. There are many factors that contribute to the growth of the language that we use. Our family background and education are the two main factors. Whether we come from a poor, rich, middle class, black, white, Latin, Asian, or other type of family, the family is the main source of learning to speak and communicate with those around us. The linguistic skills of our parents and their vocabulary range help or hinder the growth of language. Education is the other key factor that helps develop language skills. When a child begins school, they are exposed to new words and new ways of speaking. This can add to the child's vocabulary and ability to communicate with others. It also exposes them, for the first time, to different cultures. Each family unit is a culture unto itself. We may live next door to friends and family, but live life very differently.

So the next time you are uncertain of someone's meaning, do not be afraid to ask what they mean. In doing so, you can gain a clear understanding of what they mean, and also gain a glimpse into what makes them ... them.